50 Shadow Work Prompts

Shadow work means looking at the parts of yourself you would rather not see: the anger you swallow, the envy you don’t admit, the reactions that feel bigger than the moment. A good question is often the easiest way in. Below are 50 shadow work prompts, grouped by what you’re working on, from beginner questions to triggers, projection, relationships and dreams. If you’re new to this, start with our guide on how to do shadow work.

How to use these shadow work prompts

Pick one prompt and write freely for 10 minutes, without editing. As you write, notice when you hesitate, feel uncomfortable, or want to change the subject. When you hit resistance, get curious about it: “What feels hard to say here?” You don’t need to force an answer.

Shadow work prompts for beginners

1. What bothers me most in other people? What bothers you in others is often linked to something you’ve repressed in yourself.
2. What do I try hardest to hide about myself? What do I imagine would happen if someone saw it?
3. When do I say “I’m fine” when I’m not? What would I say if I were honest? This happens in many different situations, so it’s worth looking at each one.
4. What kind of person was I never allowed to be? Who taught me that?
5. Think of the last time I got defensive. What did I hear the other person say about me?
6. Which of my feelings or wants do I judge myself for?
7. What role do I usually play in relationships? What would happen if I stopped?
8. What do I admire in others that I can’t see in myself? When have I shown even a little of it?
9. What is hard to admit to myself right now? Can I write it down without explaining it away?

Prompts for your triggers

Think of a recent moment when you got triggered, and answer these about it. For why it happens in the first place, read Why Do I Get Triggered So Easily?

1. Which part of that moment hurt the most? Why that part?
2. What did I feel in my body, and what did I want to do? Connecting with your body during a trigger helps you understand it better, and over time it can make triggers less intense.
3. What did I assume the other person meant? What do I actually know? That contrast helps you notice the assumptions you make about yourself. If it happens with someone close and you feel safe opening up to them, you can explore the situation together and go deeper.
4. Which of my reactions am I ashamed of?
5. If this happens again, what would I like to do instead?

Prompts for projection: what bothers you in others

Pick one person who gets under your skin.

1. What do I assume this person thinks of me? Did they say it, or am I filling it in? The answer often shows what you think of yourself.
2. What quality in them gets the strongest reaction from me? What does that quality mean to me?
3. Who from my past do they remind me of?
4. What do I imagine they’re judging me for? Do I judge myself for the same thing?
5. What do I wish they would let themselves do, or stop doing? Do I allow myself that?

Prompts for jealousy and envy

1. What exactly am I jealous of?
2. What am I afraid of losing or missing out on?
3. What do I tell myself about my worth when I compare myself to them?
4. What do I actually know about their life, and what am I imagining?
5. What do I want that I’m embarrassed to admit?

Prompts for your inner child

1. What did I wish the adults around me understood about me?
2. When did I feel free to be myself as a child? What made that possible?
3. Which feelings were welcome in my family, and which weren’t? Which ones do I still hide today?
4. What did I believe I had to do to be loved? Do I still follow that rule?
5. What did I love doing before I worried about being good at it?

Prompts for relationships

1. When do I feel most like myself with someone? Paying attention to this helps you notice how you feel around people in general, and see them more consciously.
2. What do I wish people would understand without me saying it? What stops me from asking?
3. What keeps repeating in my relationships? This helps you find the patterns. You’re the one person present in all of them, which makes you the best place to start looking.
4. How do I react when someone gets close? And when they pull away? This is often where attachment wounds show up. If your mind spins when someone pulls away, see how to stop overthinking in a relationship.
5. What am I afraid would happen if I said no or disagreed? A good exercise for working on boundaries.
6. What do I stop doing when I’m in a relationship? This shows you whether you tend to lose yourself in relationships. Again, the point is only to notice.
7. What am I hoping a partner will give me? Could I give some of it to myself? Working on this helps you move away from codependent relationships.

Prompts for your inner critic

1. What does my inner critic say most often, and when is it loudest?
2. What happens right before I start criticizing myself?
3. Would I hold someone I love to the standards I hold myself to?
4. What am I afraid would happen if I stopped being so hard on myself?
5. When I make a mistake, what do I decide it means about me?
6. If my inner critic were trying to protect me, what would it be protecting me from? What does that protection cost me?
7. What do I avoid trying because I can already hear the judgment?

Prompts for after a dream

These work best right after waking. If your dreams fade before you can write them down, these tips on how to remember your dreams help.

1. What do I remember? Write down every detail, even the small or strange ones.
2. How did I feel in the dream, and how did I feel when I woke up?
3. Which image or person stays with me most? What do I associate with it?
4. What in my life right now feels like this dream?
5. How did I act in the dream? Is that how I usually act?
6. What did I want in the dream, and what got in the way?
7. What question does the dream leave me with?

How to go deeper than the prompt

Here are a few ways to go deeper with a question. Once you’ve answered one, it often opens the door to the next.

Feel

Write about how you felt while you were writing. It keeps you with the feeling, and the feeling often tells you something about the question itself.

Connect

Once you’ve named a feeling, notice where else it shows up in your day. Feelings are one way your body talks to you. The better you get at listening, the faster you’ll spot patterns.

Consider another angle

After you answer, look at it from another perspective. Try making up a different explanation, even one you don’t believe yet.

How Within helps

Within gives you journal prompts that are more personal. You start from a moment in your day that triggered you or stirred up strong emotions, and the app builds prompts around that moment. Over time, it also helps you discover parts of yourself you weren’t aware of.

Try Within for free on iOS and Android.

Frequently asked questions

What is a good first shadow work question?

“What bothers me most in other people?” is a good place to start. Everyone has an answer, and what irritates you in others often points to something you’ve pushed away in yourself.

How often should you do shadow work?

There’s no set rule. For most people, 10 to 15 minutes a few times a week is enough. Going slowly and regularly works better than long, intense sessions.

Can shadow work be harmful?

It can bring up painful memories and strong emotions. Go at your own pace, stop if you feel overwhelmed, and do something grounding afterwards. If you have a history of trauma, it’s safer to do this work with a therapist.

Do I need a journal for shadow work?

No, but writing helps. On paper your thoughts slow down, and over time you can look back and see patterns. Any notebook or notes app works.